The Vanderbilt Vendidad

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(photo courtesy of Stan Jones, who I assume is Stanimal based on the probable rarity of hardcore Vanderbilt fans named “Stan”)

22 July 2010 Vanderbilt Mike Leach

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whenitstrikesme asks: “Best VU Athlete Attribute of the Decade?”

Let’s hope he’s not jinxing anything with Taylor and Gray, but the guy put together a good list.

I might add “Cory Smith’s fists” or “Todd Yoder’s Still In The NFL?” or “Ted Skuchas’s Hair.”

whenitstrikesme:

I’m really not sure which athlete had the best single attribute among all Dores in the last decade.  But I’m put together some nominees and corresponding video evidence of each.  They are

  • David Price’s Durability (Baseball 2005-07),
  • Jeffery Taylor’s Bounce (Basketball 2008-Present),
  • Pedro Alvarez’ Wrists (Baseball 2006-08),
  • Jay Cutler’s Arm (Football 2002-2005),
  • Shan Foster’s Fingertips (Basketball 2004-2008) and
  • Sonny Gray’s Confidence (Baseball 2008-Present)

Click Through to Read a Bit About Each.

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18 November 2009 reblog: whenitstrikesme Vanderbilt David Price Jeffery Taylor Pedro Alvarez Jay Cutler Shan Foster Sonny Gray Ted Skuchas Cory Smith Todd Yoder

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Troubling Facebook Status of the [Game] Day:

Everytime I plan for the best, there is something or someone who ruins those plans. Expectations for future plans are not high anymore. So ima plan for the worst so I won’t expect so much from ppl.

-Jamie “Lockdown” Graham

14 November 2009 Vanderbilt Jamie Graham Vanderbilt foo

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Other Peoples’ Hard Work - 10.28.09

Here’s what I’ve found around the web, spladow! Tell your friends to read this blog.

  • This looks awesome. I’m all for early indoctrination of future generations of Vandy fans. It’s why I do this.
  • The Voice deals with frustrated fans with tact and aplomb. I completely agree with his assessment.
  • Barca rounds up information on Commodores in the NFL (read: on the Bears).
  • Great article about Brandt Snedeker, found on the VUcommodores.com home page. Between Snedeker and Derrick Byars, you have to love Vanderbilt’s loyalty to the careers of its alumni. No snark there. The only problem I had was that “earning about $110,000” was part of his “horrible” start. I think it was Craig Dolch deliberately taunting my unemployment.
  • In other news, college-aged men play video games and get really competitive about it. Though probably the lamest idea for a paid sports article I’ve seen in a while, Boclair’s piece actually does a great job of painting faces onto the jerseys we follow.
  • Warren Norman better take four or five kickoffs to the house this weekend, and Chris “The Sticky Bandit” Marve better be ready to strip some balls. No-huddle + punt-happy offensive scheme = major troubles for the ‘Dores this weekend.
  • Andy Kats gives some love to the ‘Dores basketball prospects. Provided by VSL. I commented!
  • Some guy in Idaho makes a prediction about a game between a team from Nashville and a team from Atlanta. He seems to know what he’s talking about, though.

28 October 2009 Vanderbilt Commodores Vanderbilt football Vanderbilt Basketball Derrick Byars Brendt Snedeker Joe Fisher Halloween Georgia Tech Warren Norman Andy Katz Time of Possesssion

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Rod Odom breaks up with Arizona, possibly looks to rebound with Vandy

Rod Odom, total babe

Hot Massachusetts recruit Rod Odom seems to have a thing for Vanderbilt.  It’s just a hot rumor right now, but could be a very nice steal for us.

In other news, basketball is awesome.

26 October 2009 Vanderbilt Basketball Recruiting

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Gut Feelings: Vandy at South Carolina

Let me be clear: I do not care for the University of South Carolina. Not in the least. I’ve been there. You find yourself wondering, how are the “cock” jokes still funny? I mean, it’s written on every single article of clothing they own. Honestly.

And the good ol’ Carolina racism—it’s just a bit more… uncomfortably consistent there. They don’t say the word “boy” with hate, they breathe it with a smile and a whiff of nostalgia, like the sweetness whiskey in the breath of a sweaty guy in an oxford shirt, palmetto-patterned pants, and a visor. As in, “You run the ball, boy, like you were born and bred to do!” a direct quote from the student section of the 2005 Vandy game, at which I was present. I was dating a student there at the time. She called that “tradition.”

I don’t much care for Columbia, either. In fact, I might consider it the second worst university town in the SEC. Who’s first? Here’s a hint: Knoxville. Also, for the record, I don’t include cities in Mississippi on any “worst of” lists. It’s just unfair.

Anyway.

That’s who the ‘Dores have on their plate tomorrow. The Ol’ “There are no Vanderbilts in the NFL” Ball Coach and his army of cocks (okay, it’s a little funny).

Here are my conditional predictions:

If Vandy scores first, we win 12-10.

If SC scores the first 14 points of the game in the first half, they win 35-2.

This is why I think we might surprise the Gamecocks yet again: I strongly believe we will win one more game this year. We’re too good defensively not to run in a couple interceptions for scores and end up with more than 13 points on the board in one of these games, a scoreboard situation that our defense knows how to take care of.

So I think we’ll win again. Why not another game? Here’s my reasoning:

  • It won’t be Georgia Tech, because they’re like Army if Army was good at football.
  • It won’t be Florida, because, I mean, come on.
  • I don’t think it will be the Kentucky game, because every season in recent memory that we’ve looked forward and seen the UK game as our only hope for victory, we’ve managed to lose in different depressing ways. (see: VU/UK series, 2004-2007).
  • It could be Tennessee, depending on if they continue to improve, or if they’re bitter and angry and hoarse from booing their own quarterback.
  • Even though Spurrier is trying his darnedest not to look past this week, Vanderbilt’s offense is too awful, Carolina’s schedule too intense (past this week), and Spurrier’s head to darned big for them to take this game seriously. Yes, even after losing to us for the past two years. Spurrier is just that arrogant.

So Spurrier may look over us again. That doesn’t address our own struggles. What is it about the Commodores that makes our chances of winning highest tomorrow?

Because it would be our least satisfying upset possible. We have nothing to prove about matching up against South Carolina. If they hold us to 0 points tomorrow, whatever. Good for you, Steve, way to get it out of your system.

A win tomorrow would be a very nice dish, yes, but it’s not what we ordered. Nobody expects us to beat Carolina three times in a row. But even if we do, the emotional returns are quickly diminishing. I’m tired of beating South Carolina. I want to beat UT again. Vanderbilt is my well-meaning aunt, whom I love; beating South Carolina is the special toffee candy she’s been convinced I love for three years now, when really I’m ambivalent about toffee, but love taffy. But hey, these days, I’m just glad to get some candy once in a while.

We may expect to lose to teams we’re heavily favored over (I called the Army loss), but these days, we also expect to win at least one game as major underdogs. Last year it was Auburn. Before that, South Carolina. Before that, Georgia. Before that, Tennessee.

So I think we win one more time this year, and of our remaining games, I would say we’re most likely to win against SC. Then UT, then UK, then UF, then GT. Yes, I think we’re more likely to beat Florida than Georgia Tech. I also think I’m more likely to marry Natalie Portman than Scarlett Johansson, but you don’t see me ring shopping.

If we get an upset, let’s have it be a crazy upset, like against Florida, or the happiest upset possible: beating the Vols again.

This is where the crazy neurosis of Vanderbilt fandom really shines. I don’t make my predictions based on statistics, player performance, or any of the like. Using only my gut, I am fully convinced of the following facts:

  1. We will have a major upset this year.
  2. It will not be against Kentucky, Georgia Tech, or Florida.
  3. If we win tomorrow, we will certainly lose to Tennessee.
  4. If we lose tomorrow, we have a pretty good shot at beating Tennessee.
  5. Therefore, I would not be all that excited about beating South Carolina, because if we do, I will already be lamenting a loss to the Vols.
  6. As a Vanderbilt fan, I have fully accepted the fact that the team rarely gives me what I want (a win over UT), even if they give me nice things (a possible win over SC).

So there you go. I kind of think we have a bigger-than-expected chance tomorrow. I think we’ll either come out and quickly show we came to win, or come out like the team we’ve been all year and get smoked.

This makes complete sense to me. If it doesn’t make sense to you, you haven’t been following Vanderbilt football closely enough.

24 October 2009 Vanderbilt Vanderbilt football Spurrier South Carolina

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Daily Item Jeffery Taylor Can Jump Over

Today’s item is:

A 1995 Mercury Sable

Jeffery Taylor can probably jump over a 1995 Mercury Sable.

22 October 2009 Jeffery Taylor jumping basketball vanderbilt vendidad

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Vanderbilt has had a rough season.

— Lone comment in the comment section of Chris Lowe’s sharp prognostication. Surprisingly concise, accurate, and articulate, for a Bama fan.

21 October 2009 Alabama Vanderbilt Football Depression

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Other People’s Hard Work - 10.21.09

Note: These stories were lazily taken directly (and I mean, bam bam bam, straight down the line) from VUcommodores.com’s “Around The Web” section.

  • Steve Tchiengang, frustrated with having to share the honor of “loveable foreign player” with so many others, attempts to head-butt A.J. Ogilvy to death. While he waits for the headache to go away, Ogilvy will also be icing his foot and listening to Panic! At The Disco. Jeff Lockridge of The Tennessean reports.
  • Jeffrey Collins reports that, despite a season-long commitment to luring South Carolina into a false sense of security, the Gamecocks haven’t forgotten their last two meetings with the ‘Dores. This weekend’s matchup gives Bobby Johnson a hard decision: win, just for kicks? or lose handily, a brilliant strategy to make Vanderbilt a true sleeper upset threat against the Vols?
  • ESPN.com’s Chris Low accurately identifies two of Vandy football’s bittersweet standout performers. He also calls it like he sees it with Larry Smith, remembering to give some of Smith’s troubles to the receiving corps, and refusing to describe him as “mobile” or “nimble.”
  • This video about something about Cutler opens with a Hooters commercial.
  • The City Paper’s David Boclair really works some heroic diction into the title of this sympathetically-rendered injury report.
  • Steven Stone is mercifully back this week. Let’s hope he scores us some points. Credit Lockridge again.

I recommend not reading all our injuries in one sitting. It’s disheartening.

21 October 2009 Football Vanderbilt Commodores Spurrier Ogilvy Tchiengang Bobby Johnson So many freaking injuries Steven Stone Cutler Hooters

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