The Vanderbilt Vendidad

Behold! I am The Blacksmith, avatar of the mighty Hephaestus, and Senior Athletics and Metallurgy Correspondent for the Vendidad.  I have traveled from my distant home high atop Mount Olympus in order to share my sports-related insights with you mortals dwelling here on Earth.  ”Why”, you might wonder, “would Hephaestus, the Grand Artificer, descend from his heavenly realm and journey to Nashville?”.  The answer is simple.  Only here, in the fires of Vanderbilt’s frustratingly inconsistent athletic performance, can the truest of fans be forged.  There was also that unfortunate incident involving the theft of Zeus’ lightning bolt, but that’s neither here nor there…What matters is that over the course of the coming athletic season, I shall orchestrate a fundamental transformation of the Vanderbilt fan base…or more likely, ramble senselessly about a phantasmagoria of subjects before ultimately returning to my main hobby: designing elaborate traps in an attempt to ensnare my adulterous wife, Aphrodite, during her next conjugal visit with Ares.  Curse him.