The Vanderbilt Vendidad

[image]

13 January 2012

Comments

A short play about contract negotiation

MALZAHN’S AGENT: (whispering to Malzahn) Tell them you’ll take it, but that they just need to get the money right
MALZAHN: Hey, Vandy, I’ll take it!
DAVID WILLIAMS: Hooray! We’ll just call our other options and tell them “Thanks, but no thanks; we’ve got the hottest assistant coach in the country.” I sure hope they don’t leak it to anyone, but what the heck. It’s a done deal, right?
MALZAHN’s AGENT: (whispering to Malzahn) Okay, Gus, now tell Auburn you’re leaving.
MALZAHN: Hey, Auburn, it’s been great, but I’m leaving.
AUBURN: NO! We’ll do anything! We’ll do a Tiger Walk in front of your house!
MALZAHN’S AGENT: (whispering to Malzahn) Well done, Gus. Now tell Vanderbilt you might change your mind.
MALZAHN: Seriously?
MALZAHN’S AGENT: Trust me.
MALZAHN: Hey, guys. I’m thinking about staying at Auburn.
DAVID WILLIAMS: Oh shit.
MALZAHN’S AGENT: Voila. Now no matter what you do, we’re going to make an ass-ton of money.

13 December 2010

Comments

On the Vendidad, Twitter journalism, and the Malzahn frenzy

The Vendidad has been pretty busy with gainful employment and other projects, and has moved operations almost exclusively to Twitter.

Here’s what happened:

3:30 Sunday: I tweet some random crap about Malzahn.

4:00 Sunday: I get a message from @[nameremoved] saying “vandy got him”

4:05 Sunday: Thinking that message was hilarious, on account of it being from a guy nobody had heard of, claiming no authority on the matter, and just out-and-out stating that Gus Malzahn had taken an offer from Vanderbilt, I retweet it, calling him “THE LEAK.”

4:10 Sunday A Washington Post Maryland community blogger named Matt Bonesteel (AMAZING NAME) puts up a stupid story that says that a slightly MORE legit WaPo reporter named Prisbell had knowledge that Gus Malzahn had accepted an offer to coach at Vandy.

4:15 Sunday: Because this was a hilarious coincidence that my totally unsubstantiated tweet came 5 minutes before the WaPo story, I start claiming to have gotten THE SCOOP. I update my Twitter profile accordingly.

4:20 Sunday: Twitter explodes. Reports surface on 100% of Vanderbilt blogs and several non-Vanderbilt blogs, all citing Prisbell, and not this Bonesteel (AWESOME NAME) chump, as the source.

4:30 Sunday: I do a little bit of digging on this Bonesteel chump, find that there is literally no reason to believe that he would have any access to any sort of breaking story, no matter what it says on his LinkedIn profile.

Rest of Sunday night: bickering, rumors, speculation, just like there had been on Sunday morning.

So the WaPo story presumably (I repeat: presumably) came from someone close to Franklin who heard that James Franklin had been contacted and told he was no longer being considered for the job. That suggests—but does not MEAN—that Malzahn is in. ALSO, we have not confirmed that James Franklin was actually contacted.

So here’s the thing about internet journalism: actual journalists know that, without hard-earned credibility or proof of access, an anonymous source isn’t worth a damned thing. The vast majority of twitter—and these fan communities and blogs—don’t. So when a source as credible as The Washington Post franchises its masthead out to any chump with a laptop and some free time, they not only allow, but further propagate hilariously unreliable information. It happens in areas as arbitrary as sports, and it happens in serious places.

People. Please. The Washington Post on the internet is still The Internet. And The Internet is a slimy bastard that will make something up or pull something from a totally unverified source, hope it’s coincidentally correct, and then claim to have gotten the story first. If you can’t prove it, it’s not a story. If you’re not getting paid to be right, it doesn’t matter if you’re wrong.

I’ll know who our next coach is when I see damned good proof from damned good reporters, or I’ll know when I hear it announced by David Williams or that coach himself.

13 December 2010

Comments

[image]

whenitstrikesme:

Reminder of why John Stokes is one of my favorite Commodore footballers. Not only the smartest player in the SEC, but also a pretty fine linebacker.

Agreed.

(Source: whenitstrikesme, via lostindrawers)

5 October 2010 reblog: whenitstrikesme John Stokes

Comments

[image]

27 September 2010

Comments

[image]

Robbie Caldwell morphing into some kind of Gatorade mutant superhero.

Joke courtesy of loyal Vanderbilt fan and Slovakian jabroni Nicholas “The Winter Solstice” Lee

20 September 2010

Comments

Watch the video, then we’ll talk.

Done? Did it make you smile? Great. Here are my thoughts.

  1. Any and all Vanderbilt football success, past, present, or future, is absolutely due to the fact that “Rufio, Rufio, Ruf-ee-oooo” is a thing.
  2. This team loves its coach.
  3. That man talks like a freaking football coach.
  4. Caldwell says, “We came down here with a purpose, with a plan, and a passion. Who gave us that?” It’s tough to hear the response, but I hear three: “Jesus,” “my wife,” and “Vandy Lance.”
  5. Seriously. RUF-EE-OHHHHH!

(Source: vucommodores.cstv.com)

20 September 2010 Rufio Hook Vanderbilt F

Comments

Finding the perfect pump-up video.

Gametime tomorrow, and with stupid employment really dragging down my ability to craft a proper pre-game column, I just throw up a pump-up video and be done with it.

So first I did this,

and I got this:

And that’s cool and all, but not really what I was looking for.

Then I did this:

and I got this:

And I did the “watch 2 seconds, skip halfway through, see if anything crazy is going on,” thing, then I moved along.

Then I did this:

and I got this:

Which definitely got me pumped up (Linkin Park duh), but for equestrian sports.

So I did this:

and I got this:

and I’m happy.

Let’s do this, Dores.

3 September 2010 Vanderbilt Football Sort of Northwestern

Comments

3 September 2010 reblog: whenitstrikesme

Comments

23 July 2010 Robbie Caldwell Vanderbilt football Rudy

Comments